Technically it isn’t writing, but I’m proud.


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Common Misconception

You know, I don’t get it. Why do people presume in such a matter is something I cannot understand.
Why do people say ‘You’re as stupid as a snail’? Or ‘You dumb molusc?’ Just because a snail is slow doesn’t mean it’s not smart. Just because it crawls doesn’t mean it’s unintelligent.
Let me explain.
I believe that the snail isn’t stupid, in fact, it’s a very intelligent creature. It has a highly evolved thought mechanism that goes above and beyond our current understanding of intelligence. It doesn’t rely on something so conspicuous and boring as a brain. It probably solves complex mathematical problems in the time it takes for Maria Sharapova to grunt when she hits a particularly difficult backhand volley.
However, unfortunately nature has dealt the snail with two fatal design flaws, its lack of speed and ability to communicate.
I’ve always wondered at the snails I see attempting to cross roads. What people must understand is it simply isn’t being stupid when it tries to do something that’s so obviously suicidal. When you’re that size, your perspective changes. Maybe it can’t even see the passing tyres on the road simply because they pass too fast for it to see (physical limitation). It may have deduced that making it past the road is far too dangerous and have initiated an attempt to U-turn way before its body actually responds to its wishes, but is crushed under the unforgiving reality when the rubber hits the gravel – with the snail in between.
If it could communicate, we could feed them the problems we are facing in our world, and they could conceivably solve them in their own time, no matter how slow. However, it is not too be. Their eye-stalks either moves in a manner too intelligent for us to decipher, or they are simply moving from laughing at us.
The point of this post is: if you think it’s obvious, but can not be proven to be otherwise, then you don’t really know anything.


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I can’t believe it. When I was young I’ve always wished I had this superpower – where I could generate this spherical force field that would suck all the mosquitoes from my house or neighbourhood into it. And I would slowly will the sphere smaller and smaller, killing them all! Ahahahahhaha!
Well, I still don’t have this superpower, but I saw something in Boingboing today that reminded me of it, and that, my friends, is this remarkable device. It’s a mosquito trap that supposedly kills up to 1,200 of these critters a night.
I certainly can appreciate this piece of art, as I’m currently being bitten by mosquitoes as I’m typing this.
Go figure.


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